Bad Interaction with a Parent

I honestly meant to write while I was on Spring Break. Really. I promise that was the intention. I just didn't do it. I did pretty much nothing, which was fantastic. There were lots of things I meant to do (grading, catch up on second drafts of lesson plans, fix the play that the fourth graders are working on) but mostly I sat around and knitted on a blanket I've been trying to finish for awhile after taking it apart and starting over.

There are lots of things that I need to catch the blog world up on. But for now, since I have 15 minutes before walking up to meet The Boy with the dog, I'll write up the most recent.

Over the past year it has come to my attention that the most dangerous and scary part of my day is when the kids are let out after school. Some kids are headed for after school program in the cafeteria, but don't want to go because their friends are waiting for their parents. Other kids peel across the school driveway at break neck speed for their parents' cars that don't follow the one way rule of the school parking lot. Those that are left begin swinging on the gazebo and throwing rocks. We don't use buses, so though we are a small school of about 120, that's 120 children running EVERYWHERE. Enough to put even the sanest of teachers into a pretty serious panic.

At the beginning of the year, I made a suggestion that all teachers walk their students out and line them up along the sort-of-basketball-court and as parents drive by children can get in to cars in a safe and organized fashion. This idea was not looked on favorably. Why? Who knows?
Goodness forbid we all do a little extra work at the end of the day in order to keep the children safe. (Though I gotta say our kindergarten teacher does a great job of keeping her kids corralled and accounted for.)

For the most part, I can keep track of whatever class I'm in charge of during the afternoon (3rd or 4th) during dismissal and speak to the parents I need to speak to. The last few weeks have proven difficult and the weather has improved and children have begun using dismissal as recess in earnest. The gazebo is between the "field" (read: rectangle covered with dirt, rocks, used heroine needles and broken glass) and the driveway. This makes it difficult for me to speak to the parents I need to speak too and keep Juanito from throwing rocks at Paulito.

Having had enough of that I decided that I would line up my students anyway. That way I could at least keep a good eye on the students that I am most responsible for. I started this afternoon. Once we got outside, I sent the students that go to after school program to after school program inside the cafeteria. I sent off the students whose parents were already parked and I lined up the rest.

Matt, a fourth grader has been having a lot of trouble following directions and getting his work done lately. He's labeled as gifted and in many ways he is ahead of the game. Today, however seemed to be particularly difficult for him as he refused to do work for Ms. Jenson this morning or for me this afternoon. And so after a few reminders, I caught myself almost begging him to do work. At this point I sent him to Ms. Hernandez so he could do his work in there. Later Mr. Dido took him for the last half an hour of the day as part of his gifted services. He came out a few minutes after the rest of my class with Mr. Dido. I sent him to after school program. He didn't want to go. (Well, he hadn't followed any other direction today, what would make that simple one any different?)

Gilbert is another of my fourth grade students. His father was waiting for him and so he was one of the students I sent off straight away. After Matt refused to follow the direction of going to after school program, Gilbert came up to him and asked for his phone number. I stopped the conversation and sent Gilbert back to his car, after explaining that Matt had a direction to follow and that this wasn't the best time to be asking anyway. I repeated my direction to Matt and he slouched off to cafeteria after shooting me his best sneer.

A minute later, Gilbert's father came strutting up to me. The following was our conversation while he was keeping cars from continuing through the correct one way:

Him: What was that with Gilbert and Matt?
Me: I'm sorry?
Him: (Angry voice) All Gilbert wanted was Matt's phone number.
Me: (Very respectfully) I understand, it's just been difficult lately to keep all the kids safe after school and since you were already here I sent Gilbert back to you.
Him: (Even angrier voice) IT'S AFTER SCHOOL!
Me: You're right! Well done, that's why you're picking your son up after all! Yes, sir.
Him: (Even angrier voice) You always seem to be annoyed about something! (Then he turned his back and walked away.)
Me: (To his back) I'm sorry you feel that way, Sir.

(I can't remember if it was annoyed or another word exactly, but it was something like that.)

Now, if I had been allowed to continue the conversation in a civilized way, I would have suggested that he and Gilbert walk into the cafeteria together to talk to Matt, or that he could, but I wasn't.

Now, Gilbert also has bouts of not following directions and fooling around in class. I talk to his parents about this. I also mention positive things during these conversations. So in no way am I always annoyed when speaking to him.

I felt a little guilty after this interaction, so I walked myself into the cafeteria and asked Matt for his phone number. He couldn't remember it! He gave me nine numbers and then when I said that couldn't be right, he gave me five. I went outside to pass on this information to find that they had already left.

I was surprised by this interaction because this is one of the families I know the best. I was their daughter Loo Loo's teacher when she was in fourth grade. I tutored her on my own time and was not compensated by them. (The school got a grant from the city.) I drove Gilbert and Loo Loo home a few times this year while their father was in the hospital, so their mother could stay with him or run some errands. (They are right on the way to my house.) And earlier this year Gilbert broke his glasses and on my own time (they even called me over Christmas Break) I helped them get glasses for cheap over the internet.

Now, I did those things as a pay-it-forward-sort-of-thing. My good deed for the day or whatever. But after all this I was hurt to be treated this way by this father. Thankfully, I kept my voice down and was respectful. (Mum taught me well and Sophia taught me how to stand up for myself in front of parents.)

The cool thing was that I was one of the first classes out for dismissal this afternoon. Other teacher saw what I was doing and copied it! So we had grades 1 - 6 lined up on the-sort-of-basketball-court.

Reading Recovery Revisited

We have figured out what to do with the third graders. All but two of the 17 students are a grade behind in their reading. What to do.

We have decided that the third graders will have English Reading every morning for an hour, whether or not they have English first thing that morning. They have been broken up into four groups according to their reading levels. Mr. Dido will have the Special Ed group, Ms. Cally the first grade group, I'll have the second grade and the on level groups and we'll go from there and see how hard we can push these kids.

It's going to mess up the scheduling a little bit, but its for the best.

Oh Special Ed

So I mentioned in this post that I had yet to see the behavioral plan or the I.E.P. for my one of my students, Kismet. At the beginning of the year, I asked both special education teachers as well as Sr. Callejo during orientation for permission to go through both of these documents. (There are lots of laws about them, so there is some red tape, which is why I asked early.) The special education teachers, Mr. Dido and Mr. Rama said that, of course I would have the chance to go through those documents before school started.

Well, a week in, after asking both of them twice with no actual seeing of the documents, I used my weekly "teacher journal" (Sr. Callejo's way of finding out what we need) to tell the principal that after asking twice, I hadn't heard from either man about when I could get a look at these documents. Three more days went by and I still heard nothing.

From what I have been able to piece together about this Kismet is that he was seriously hard time as a little person and so missed a lot of the developmental hurdles that most children master. Thank goodness he and his two younger brothers were adopted by a very generous couple that has devoted their lives to these three boys. In fact, the mother spends her mornings in the classroom with Kismet in the fourth grade class.

Because he has this terrible past, there are many moments in the classroom where he just can't cope the way that my other students can. I met this little boy when he was in the first grade, while I was the E.A. in the Kindergarten room. There were times that he would lash out to the point that he needed to be restrained. I witnessed this one morning when we were called one day to help control him. It was necessary because he has a habit of throwing things like textbooks hard enough to hurt (having been on the receiving end) and climbing so that he can't be followed.

Thank goodness that Kismet has come so far since his first grade year, his previous teachers have been devoted and caring, his parents very supportive and helpful. He hasn't had any break downs this year and he and I have gotten on really well so far.

For all of these reasons, it was really important for me to know at the very beginning what to expect from him behaviorally as well as academically. All of these systems have been put in place by the special education team and by law they need to be followed. I couldn't understand why Mr. Dido and Mr. Rama were not falling all over themselves in their effort to give me the information. Mr. Dido did say to me at some point that I should treat him like any other student. (Which, because these systems were in place, I knew wasn't true.)

Kismet does his best in the morning and so I didn't have him in the afternoon until this week. I have been concentrating on staying upbeat and positive throughout the day. (My homage to Sophia.) And the three times that we have been at odds, I've called Mr. Rama, while staying calm yet stern with him. Thankfully, each of these times, Mr. Dido and Mr. Rama have backed me up and Kismet is learning that he has to listen to me. However, I was still a bit miffed that after asked three different people, I still didn't have access to the information that needed to work with him.

So today after being at odds with Kismet, I called Mr. Rama to explain what had happened and that that was the last time I was going to "wing it." I told him that I needed to sit down with that paperwork. We met after school and I have a good idea of how to work with him behaviorally, thankfully, I was already doing the right thing for the most part. But that isn't the point, because I did learn a lot. I have yet to see the I.E.P.

Moments that Mattered: Yesterday, Cosmo, a sixth grader from last year gave me a copy of his football game schedule so that I could go to one of his games. I don't think he asked any of his other teachers. Raul, my budding artist from last year is hoping that I will buy one of his sketches. He's going to bring it finished soon for me to see. I think I shall buy. I think they have realized that as hard as last year was for them, I was in it for them, for their successes. That matters to me.

Favorite Lessons from this year!

So in the interest of being less negative, I decided to write about some of my favorite lessons of this year.

During Balloon Fiesta, (while I was still teaching fourth grade) Sophia and put together paper mache project. Simple enough, the kids had a great time and they were beautiful to look at when they were finished. Another teacher, Mr. Dido brought in a tissue paper balloon and we talked about how real balloons fly. I got to tell them my story of taking a ride in one and being in the chase car. It was the perfect example of teachers working together to create a great lesson for kids.

Before Thanksgiving (still in fourth grade) Sophia set up a soap making lesson! The kids actually made soap. I did some introductory lessons about simple chemistry and we pooled money for the materials. Parents came in and helped with some of the more complicated steps. All the kids were involved in all the steps and at the end we wrapped the soaps up and the kids sold them and used the money towards the "Earth" field trip. Fun and learning was had by all.

So far, these have been other people's (mostly the awesome Sophia) ideas. But this one is all mine. It started to snow one day (still fourth grade) and the kids were so excited for recess. Except that Sr. Callejo imposed every kids' worst nightmare; indoor recess. The kids were devastated. He does this because we are living in New Mexico and he think parents will be mad if their children are outside in less than 60 degree weather. Anyway. Well the bathrooms are across the driveway so I took the kids to the bathroom and on the way there and back I had them catch snowflakes on their shirtsleeves and look at them up close. When we got back to the classroom I read them the story about Snowflake Bentley (which I had just happened to order the week before) and then in small groups of three they looked at pictures on the internet of snowflakes magnified. The kids loved it. I felt really good about it!

Now for the sixth grade. There have been many moments, especially since Monte moved into our school. Monte is questioning some part of his gender. This has opened up a can of worms that until he came was just not something that was part of the class' world. But there have been at least three conversations where I think I really made a difference in the way that the kids saw people that do not follow the usual gender identity pattern.

I also just absolutely love how the girls have turned out. They really are a bit of a hint of what they will be.